And it begins!

2/2/11
I returned to the PLC again with a slight bit of ease knowing where I was going, who I would be with, and an idea of what to expect. I entered and signed in as instructed and went down the hall to the room Emily was assigned to. I was greeted with disappointment as I was informed Emily has been sick the past couple days and has not been in school. I thought, oh no not another lost day of tutoring. Luckily though, I was able to be placed with another student in need of help in literature. Her name for this study will be Marygrace. I nervously sat beside her as she continued the lesson she was working on. After a few awkward minutes of no interaction, she turned to me and asked for help on a question. Phew! The hard part was over and I had been acknowledged. As we worked through her questions, I did the best I could to offer my help. She answered the questions so quickly sometimes I didn't even have the chance to read them, let alone check to see if her answer was right. She would occasionally ask for my help... or resort to a Google search. I wasn't sure of the rules but I could guess that wasn't supposed to be helping her cheat. I tried to coax her into figuring out the problem herself or letting me guide her to what is best fit. After a couple questions of my help she finally decided to bail on Google and just listen to me. She told me she only needed 70% to pass and she was worried she wouldn't make the cutoff. We checked and double checked her answers and sure enough, she passed..barely. She couldn't care less. We then began her next lesson, sort of. Her attention was shot and she had no desire to continue on for the remaining 45 minutes of the period. This is when it got interesting

Marygrace was not a shy girl. She upright asked me many questions about my personal life, who I was, why I was there, etc. She told me she was 19, her birthday a month after mine. She simply said she was at the PLC because she wanted to attend Clarke Central but her mom made her go to Cedar Shoals. So instead of complying, she simply stopped going altogether because she hated it so much. She mentioned both her mom and dad in conversation and described her love for music. We had that in common, thank goodness. I never thought Lil Wayne would save me, but he did. She began letting me listen to her favorite songs and describe their lives. Her grammar was poor and I could tell she didn't know she was wrong in how she spoke.. or she didn't care and didn't want to change. She asked about my relationships and very, well racial questions. "Would I date a black man?" "Have I dated a black man?" "Would I have Lil Wayne's baby?" "Do men always pay child support?" She was on a roll. I dodged many questions but she seemed like a nice girl so I felt it only fair if I let her into my life as she had let me. The questions continued as I tried, and failed, to entice her back into her school work. She has until March to finish so why keep working now? The comment that struck me most about her involved her relationships. She said she is dating two men. One black. One white. She likes the black one best, they attended the same high school for 2 years but he is older and has moved on with life. They communicate via facebook and she thinks he is a great man. However, she NEEDS to have a baby with a white man so that she can have mixed children. I tried to remain cool. I was shocked at how blunt she had been. Choosing a man because he is white to make mixed babies? That really is her criteria? My heart dropped. I couldn't bring myself to ask WHY she must have mixed babies, afraid of what she might say. I felt instantly uncomfortable. Luckily, she kept talking without noticing. She explained that he isn't as good as a man as her black boyfriend but his skin color makes up for it. Shocked again. After she finished her conversation about men, she glanced at the clock and even though the bell hadn't rang, it was time for her to leave. They can come and go as they please, she said. I took her word for it and she hurried to catch the Transit back home.

As I climbed into my car, my mind raced. The day would have been as expected, lectures on a computer screen, minority students, exactly Mimi said it would be... until that conversation. I could NOT believe she had said what she said about white versus black boyfriends. At the age of 19, my age, she was planning her relationships according to who she wants to make babies with. It blew my mind. Academically, she wasn't as much as a struggle as I had predicted but her life stories are what caught me off guard. If her interrogation hadn't surprised me with her bluntness and racial stereotypes, she certainty got me at the end. From that moment, I realized I wouldn't be learning to teach here. Well, mainly. I would be learning how to adapt to, accept, and help others as different from myself as humanly possible. Surprisingly though, I was anxious to go back again. I wanted to see Marygrace again. See Emily. Help them in any way I possibly could. Help them succeed to their fullest. They deserve it. They deserve it more than some at UGA. They know what it means to be on their own, support themselves, prove everyone wrong, set their own goals. THEY are the ones who have life lessons to teach US. I am no better than anyone there simply because I go to UGA. Who knows, if they were me, maybe they would be to. Unfortunately, life is harder for them. They don't have things handed to them. They work for everything. And I admire that. I look forward to my next visit to the PLC and the difference I can make in someone's life. Maybe it means nothing to them now, but I hope I can help them in even the most miniscule way.