Another sunny day but I was hopeful! I went on Monday this time instead of my usual Wednesday routine so I was actually kind of nervous that things would run as smoothly and I would be as accepted by the students. To my relief, a student I had previously tutored called my name the instant I walked in the room. I then noticed however, that there was a substitute teacher behind the desk for the first time this semester. I sat down next to the one of three students present today ready to begin working. However, "Kayla" asked if I would like to see her prom pictures first, which I agreed to without hesitation. I began thinking how great the PLC actually is.. they had Relay for Life, prom, talent shows.. they really did all they could to make it as much like a normal high school as possible. It was then she mentioned it was actually Cedar Shoals prom, however the school does offer many other opportunities for involvement. It was then I caught sight of the substitute. She looked beyond frantic, worried, clueless. She asked if this was how things are supposed to be run, what the kids are supposed to do, what does she do? I explained this is basically how it works here, they work if they want to and if they choose not to they don't. Music was playing, the kids were gossiping I can see why it would appear to be very out of control to an outsider. For once I felt at home at the PLC. I knew this is how they work, how the day is run. I am the one in control now. I am the one allowed to give directions and corrections. I can be the one they turn to. I reassured the substitute everything in the room was fine and acceptable and returned to Kayla and her stories of boy troubles. She genuinely seems like a very intelligent girl and every time I have worked with her we have accomplished a great deal. She seems very knowledgable and able to figure most things out for herself. However, her progress in the course leaves much to be desired. I can't figure out how after so much time and so much working I have seen her do first hand without my persuasion she isn't on track yet. Today was an exception because of the circumstances without a teacher but normally she is very proactive and wanting to do as much as possible. Her grades are average but her progress is astonishingly low compared to what I have seen her complete in just one time period. Also, being there on a Monday for the first time I got to see her true dedication to school. She doesn't only come Wednesdays but most days of the week. In fact, on her report she showed me she had zero unexcused absences. I know without a doubt this is an uncommon reward for students at the PLC just from experiencing the one class period once a week. I was very happy to see that she is in fact very dedicated to her school work.
Being there on a Monday gave me a different outlook of the school as a whole. Coming to the same period week after week on the same day made it seem like that is also the only time the students experience what I do. However, being there today and sort of in charge of things made me realize the redundancy of the program. Kayla sits down day after day to the same screen, to the same exercises, the same order of things. It is no wonder that attendance has significantly dropped as the semester grew on. I don't even think I would be able to stand the fact that nothing ever changes. Each day, each week is the same routine, the same structure with only the people slightly varying as some pop in and out deciding if they really want to be in school.
Kayla is by far my favorite student I have worked with at the PLC. She is outgoing, fun, and doesn't seem bothered by any aspect of her life. She doesn't complain about money, her family, the work, she is very optimistic and light hearted. Some of the children are understandably more darkened by their situations in life but Kayla is enjoying her life to the fullest and I greatly admire that quality.
Also being on Monday, I got to see how one of the other tutors interacts with his student. I was alarmed and slightly offended that he sat behind her, a great distance, and was doodling or taking notes in his own notebook the entire time. He helped a few times only if she summoned him or directly asked for help but other than that he was very uninterested and preoccupied. He even talked about being at the PLC as a chore. He mentioned how he needs to stay for his "hours." I personally do not think the students want to be thought of that way. They don't need to think my time with them is forced, is required. I am there for them and that is the only way it should be. I was embarrassed FOR him. I think it was very rude to mention the school as sort of a punishment or forced environment. I want the students to be helped and know that I am there for them. They feel unappreciated enough of their life outside of the school walls and do not deserve it in here. I tried to play off his comment and urge the girls to keep working and not notice the underlying message behind what he said. I would love to keep going to the PLC regardless of whether it is required or not. I think giving back to the students in need is rewarding enough in itself. I don't need a grade or a certain number of hours to prove what I am doing is worthwhile.
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