4/18 Brings me back

Another sunny day but I was hopeful! I went on Monday this time instead of my usual Wednesday routine so I was actually kind of nervous that things would run as smoothly and I would be as accepted by the students. To my relief, a student I had previously tutored called my name the instant I walked in the room. I then noticed however, that there was a substitute teacher behind the desk for the first time this semester. I sat down next to the one of three students present today ready to begin working. However, "Kayla" asked if I would like to see her prom pictures first, which I agreed to without hesitation. I began thinking how great the PLC actually is.. they had Relay for Life, prom, talent shows.. they really did all they could to make it as much like a normal high school as possible. It was then she mentioned it was actually Cedar Shoals prom, however the school does offer many other opportunities for involvement. It was then I caught sight of the substitute. She looked beyond frantic, worried, clueless. She asked if this was how things are supposed to be run, what the kids are supposed to do, what does she do? I explained this is basically how it works here, they work if they want to and if they choose not to they don't. Music was playing, the kids were gossiping I can see why it would appear to be very out of control to an outsider. For once I felt at home at the PLC. I knew this is how they work, how the day is run. I am the one in control now. I am the one allowed to give directions and corrections. I can be the one they turn to.  I reassured the substitute everything in the room was fine and acceptable and returned to Kayla and her stories of boy troubles. She genuinely seems like a very intelligent girl and every time I have worked with her we have accomplished a great deal. She seems very knowledgable and able to figure most things out for herself. However, her progress in the course leaves much to be desired. I can't figure out how after so much time and so much working I have seen her do first hand without my persuasion she isn't on track yet. Today was an exception because of the circumstances without a teacher but normally she is very proactive and wanting to do as much as possible. Her grades are average but her progress is astonishingly low compared to what I have seen her complete in just one time period. Also, being there on a Monday for the first time I got to see her true dedication to school. She doesn't only come Wednesdays but most days of the week. In fact, on her report she showed me she had zero unexcused absences. I know without a doubt this is an uncommon reward for students at the PLC just from experiencing the one class period once a week. I was very happy to see that she is in fact very dedicated to her school work.
Being there on a Monday gave me a different outlook of the school as a whole. Coming to the same period week after week on the same day made it seem like that is also the only time the students experience what I do. However, being there today and sort of in charge of things made me realize the redundancy of the program. Kayla sits down day after day to the same screen, to the same exercises, the same order of things. It is no wonder that attendance has significantly dropped as the semester grew on. I don't even think I would be able to stand the fact that nothing ever changes. Each day, each week is the same routine, the same structure with only the people slightly varying as some pop in and out deciding if they really want to be in school.
Kayla is by far my favorite student I have worked with at the PLC. She is outgoing, fun, and doesn't seem bothered by any aspect of her life. She doesn't complain about money, her family, the work, she is very optimistic and light hearted. Some of the children are understandably more darkened by their situations in life but Kayla is enjoying her life to the fullest and I greatly admire that quality.

Also being on Monday, I got to see how one of the other tutors interacts with his student. I was alarmed and slightly offended that he sat behind her, a great distance, and was doodling or taking notes in his own notebook the entire time. He helped a few times only if she summoned him or directly asked for help but other than that he was very uninterested and preoccupied. He even talked about being at the PLC as a chore. He mentioned how he needs to stay for his "hours." I personally do not think the students want to be thought of that way. They don't need to think my time with them is forced, is required. I am there for them and that is the only way it should be. I was embarrassed FOR him. I think it was very rude to mention the school as sort of a punishment or forced environment. I want the students to be helped and know that I am there for them. They feel unappreciated enough of their life outside of the school walls and do not deserve it in here. I tried to play off his comment and urge the girls to keep working and not notice the underlying message behind what he said. I would love to keep going to the PLC regardless of whether it is required or not. I think giving back to the students in need is rewarding enough in itself. I don't need a grade or a certain number of hours to prove what I am doing is worthwhile.

4/6/11

I had the best day at the PLC yet! I was back with another student I had previously worked with. She was excited to see that she would be the one selected for my help today. We almost doubled her progress just in one period. She was able to skip most of the lectures and activities by passing the pre-tests before each section. Only certain teachers allow this feature to be used and I am still undecided on how I feel about it. It allows the student to skip vocabulary, lectures, and lessons if they answer the 10 questions on a passing level. I think they really miss out on some of the information but some of the activities do become redundant and unnecessary so it seems like a fair trade. My student today was very independent, optimistic, and cheerful. She has the most life and energy out of everyone I have worked with and it was very refreshing. I did not have to get her back on task or push her through the work; she wanted to complete it herself. We did suffer some technological problems with the internet and she lost one of her quizzes. The teacher was able to allow a retake with some confusion as to how to go about setting it up. Overall though, it was a minor detour. I learned that she has had a UGA tutor for every year of her school since middle school and she remembered most of them by name. We talked about dorm life and UGA events. She seemed genuinely interested in my life and what it was like. It also again surprised me how much the English teacher knows. This may sound harsh at first coming from me but simply seeing her sitting at her desk all day while the students teach themselves did not provide me with much of an insight on her abilities. Today, however since there were again few students present she worked one on one with many. Her knowledge was abundant and she indeed did know all there is to know about literature and English. She is very familiar with each of the pieces assigned in the lectures without having to look back and reference any. One thing that bothered me today was listening to the conversations in the room. The grammar and way of speaking disheartened me. The students are so knowledgeable about English and literature but when it comes to everyday language, their diction leaves much to be desired. They use slang to the utmost extent and do not realize how wrong their way of speaking actually is. I think at this age, it is almost impossible to fix because they have become accustomed to speaking in such a way. They have a hard time translating what they read and learn to their colloquial life. Even when reading out loud passages, the words are unconsciously switched to how they would use them in conversations. Words are skipped over and moved to accommodate how they talk to one another. I also noticed that the students seem to all know each other and befriend each other. There is no hostility, no judgement, no sense of competition. All of the students I have witnessed and automatically friends with one another. I admire that quality in them all. It shows they are not superficial or fall into cliche, typical high school fallacies. They treat each other as equals, even not knowing each other's stories as to their placement at the PLC. My tutee's energy today was infective and enlightening. She made me feel very appreciated and important. She even referred to me as her "life line". I hope that feeling will only continue to grow and occur when I myself am the one behind the desk. Her completion of quizzes made me feel proud and effective. It reminded me why I wanted to be a teacher in the first place. I want to help others, watch them grow, help them succeed. As cliche as it sounds, it warmed my heart to see her happiness at her success and progress. The feeling made me eager to begin my own teaching career.

3/30/11 Back to Normal

Back to the PLC normal life! All doors were unlocked and everything was good to go! I was surprised when I entered class to find an abundance of students, almost every chair was filled. The girl I had the previous week, however, was nowhere to be found. I returned to one of my numerous previous students much to her excitement. I think the students have learned that with tutors, you progress much faster and they therefore are more welcome and open to the idea of working one on one with someone. We began exactly where we had left off over 3 weeks ago. It was saddening to see that she had not worked anymore on her English since I had last seen her. Attendance has suffered greatly recently and I'm glad more have returned to continue on. We began working again on the Iliad and the Odyssey although many of her answers were wrong due to the length of time it had been since she had read the assignment. She skipped many of the assignments and still was given a completion grade. I have noticed a change in the teacher interaction. She now will check all the answers if a student asks, before they submit the test in for a grade. She will now let you know which questions to "look at" and allow you a second chance at the right answer. I felt this was very unfair because not all of the students bug the teacher to check their individual work. It is not as if she is helping them work through them, they simply are allowed to choose a different answer even without thinking in hopes that it will now be right. They are now given more of an opportunity to get the right answer but I think it makes them take the work more lightly. They know they will be able to go back and fix answers without being penalized. She skipped the lectures, as most students do and was barely focused on what we were working on. She did bring up her progress a significant amount by the end of class although it was a struggle and I had to continually bring her back to the task at hand. I wonder how many of the students will end up graduating this year. I also heard through one of my other friends tutoring at the PLC that my original student was moved to another class because she needed more hands on instruction. I think this is the biggest downfall of the class I have been placed in. I hear from others about actual lessons and discussions but in mine I simply sit beside a child and watch the computer screen. For most though, this is the only way they will focus. From an educator's point of view though it seems very ineffective especially knowing most of the children cheat their way through the lessons using the internet and other available sources. The actual lessons are not grasped. As we read through the Odyssey, it did please me personally still being able to recall some of the details from when I read the novel in high school. This experience is teaching me a lot about techniques though. I have tried out different ways of helping without giving the answer and learned how to phrase things to ease the student into discovering the answer.